by Bradley Webb
Upon hearing the news that my girlfriend was pregnant, I was flooded with emotions. It was my theory that I could prevent repeating the sadness of my childhood by not having any children. I feel that as humans we often focus on the negative aspects of our lives and I have very strong memories of being let down, spankings and disappointment. I felt that the only way to be responsible for this not happening was not to have children, but we have less control of our destinies than we think.
It was difficult for me during the pregnancy not being able to contribute anything. The mother supplies the food, the oxygen, the blood, and the warmth. Any of these I would gladly give to ensure the wellbeing of my child, but it is not the place of the father to do this. I felt I needed to decide how I could supply my child with the tools necessary to be a human, a good human. As an individual, I feel the raising of a child is the most important job anyone can endeavor to undertake. As a parent, I feel we are responsible for the continuation of human life and hopefully a human that can give back as much as we give them. When we think about raising our children in a way that contributes to making the world a better place to live, parenting is a privilege, not a burden.
I feel that there is no such thing as a part-time parent. When deciding to have a child, this should be the first consideration. As parents, we need to be there for our children 100% of the time. Children need and deserve all of our attention and empathy. When they cry it is for a reason. They need our help. They are hungry, or in pain, or just need to be held. To let a child cry itself to sleep is out of the question to me. This is almost as bad as beating a child. Parents are the only reliable source of comfort for our children. When they are left alone to cry it must be the loneliest feeling in the world. I know that I can’t be made to feel any more down than when I am alone.
When I was a child it was ok for parents to spank or even beat their children. This makes no sense to me. Children are helpless! Please excuse me if I am preaching to the choir, but it makes my heart ache so badly to see someone hit a child. If they do something that we feel is wrong, hitting them will not solve anything. We are their creators. We must be benevolent. It takes less energy to explain why we are upset than it does to lash out.
It is necessary to listen to our children, share with them, and love life with them. As a single parent, I know that sometimes adults have a hard time getting along, but it is so important to be able to put aside any differences and be able to love and share the love of our children. Our children should be the last to feel the ill effects of our pride and ego.
The world could benefit greatly in realizing the beauty and greatness of our children. We are their beauty, their wonder, their right and wrong. We are their parents. If we share with them all of the good and beauty in our hearts there will be no limit to their grasp of the world.