by Loi Caitlin Medvin
I began thinking about this article yesterday, after my daughter had been very sick. The first glimmer popped into my mind, as my daughter was curled up in a little ball, moaning in pain. She lay clutching her stomach, her eyes glassy and her forehead clammy, while all my superficial annoyances fled. We had been arguing about something and I’d been feeling kind of bothered when it hit her. She stopped looking so cross and instead began to crawl into bed.
For the first moment, I wondered what was going on until I saw how she looked. My heart went out to her and my hard feelings fled immediately. How can I be angry with someone in pain? I’m also quite connected to my daughter and so empathetic that I almost felt sick myself. Then I shook that off and went into love mode. I know that when my child is not feeling well, first and foremost, it is a call for my full attention. I need to stop whatever I am doing, and focus on her. I will often crawl into bed next to her with as few clothes on as possible (skin-to-skin contact is extremely healing) and just emote love. I massage her a bit and speak to her with kind, soothing words. I read to her and make her teas with (in this case) peppermint, chamomile, fennel, lemon balm and Echinacea . She felt horrible – once even running to the bathroom to throw-up a little bit and just listlessly laid in bed. I figured out that she had a mild case of food poisoning so I called my work and left a message that I might not be in. After a few hours, she miraculously felt better. She jumped up and ran outside to jump on the trampoline with her friend, Noah and made plans to go over to another friends house.
Some might wonder if her sickness was even real – she was just fine three hours later – but I know that there was no duplicity there. She just ate something that did not agree with her and had to process it. I’m so glad that she has such a strong body and I trust in her ability to heal herself. I know how to do my part so that she can do hers.
Given the right tools, I think that we all can (re)learn to do this. If we can take time out to give ourselves love and attention, to focus on what is behind our suffering and breathe, we can bring ourselves back into a healthy state. One might argue that s/he has too much going on, especially with being a parent, to find that time. This is something that is so important that we really have no excuse not to focus in. No matter what your reasons are, they are insufficient. Just think about it - the health of you and your children depend upon it!